Kissing
The Swoon, the Science, and the Guide Book
Hello Reading Friends!
Today is RELEASE DAY for my very first non-fiction book, KISS & TELL: A GUIDE TO WRITING TOE-CURLING SWOON.
Y’all, I have to tell you. I was so frazzled today that I accidentally typed the title of my book as KILL & TELL to someone…and, not gonna lie, I kinda want to write this book now. I’m thinking murder mystery comedy of errors…anyone else? ;)
But in all seriousness, I’m really excited for this little book to hit the literal and metaphorical shelves. I’ve had quite a few people who have read my books and liked the kissing parts (and let’s face it…all my books have kissing parts…) and then asked me questions about how I write romance. I’ve compiled those questions, boiled down the facts of things (guys, I researched KISSING. The hardship. ;) ), and written out my process for developing SWOON—not just kissing, not just romance, but proper, toe-curling swoon, into this book. It’s got examples, quotes, detailed explanations, questions for you as the reader/writer to think about, and practice prompts. I tried to make this bite-sized, digestible, and packed with everything a writer needs to leave their reader gasping and on the emotional edge of their seats.
So. If you, or a writer friend, might find such a thing helpful, it’s out and about now. ;)
In other news, I probably won’t be sending out another June missive. June is insane. I’ll be traveling hither, thither, and yon, and while I’m super excited about what’s coming, it’s going to drain me. I’ll try to get back and running on schedule the second or third week of July. ;) I’ll pop an extra ORIGIN chapter in below as recompense. ;)
If you happen to be going to Realm Makers Writers Conference, I’ll be there! You should definitely come find me and say hello! :D *It’s possible there will be early copies of both AN ALLIANCE OF ASH AND JADE and THE RAT KING on the Quill & Flame table. ;)
Summer is off to a roaring start here. I hope yours is slow, easy, full of fun, laughter, good books, and good friends.
Until July!
Cheers!
-AJ
AJ Factoid: So I attempted to practice putting on fake nails a few days ago in preparation for part of a costume I’ll be wearing to the Realm Makers costumed awards dinner (I’ll try to remember to have someone get a picture for you all to giggle over). Someone send help. This is clearly an area in which I am NOT skilled. We won’t discuss how many nails ended up solidified to my body crooked and wonky. I’m too ashamed to show you a picture. The three that were correctly applied look awesome.
Some more new-to-me authors!
This one was recommended to me as I enjoy a side of werewolves now and then. ;) I’ve not read it yet, but I was told it was no spice. ;) Have you read any of this series by Andrea Robertson?
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • The first book of a thrilling supernatural romance series about a teenage girl who defies the laws of the wolf pack in pursuit of true love.
ORIGIN
Chapter 16
Celeste gasped as Leif, Da, and I leaped from the table. The goblins were coming. So were their unicorns.
My mind dashed in endless circles as anxiety and dread gnawed at my empty belly. I ran down the stone corridor to the side closet where I’d stashed my bow and quiver in my rush to get to table on time. Snatching them up and slinging my quiver over my head, I ran through the melee to the carved steps that led to the ramparts.
Night encroached. With the changing seasons, nightfall came earlier, and the goblins were taking advantage, sneaking out of their holes in the ground as soon as the light left the land. My feet pounded the stones of the parapet as men and a few women ran to their designated battle positions.
As daughter of Chief Camran, I didn’t have a specifically designated battle position, other than my father’s shouted instructions several skirmishes ago to, “stay out of trouble and don’t die!” No one had ever minded my arrows and my accuracy during an attack though. I took a stance at the middle of the ramparts, between the two watch towers, and with a good view of the woods where the goblins would most likely come. The leather soles of my boots gripped against the rough stone. I nocked an arrow, holding it steady, ready to draw back as soon as the goblins materialized.
We waited. Electricity and magic crackled in the air, heavy with anticipation and dread.
“There!” a man shouted from the eastern parapet.
“Here!” another shouted from the north side.
“In the southern forest!” a third cried.
My blood iced as I strained my eyes to look beyond the murky trees and shadows of the woods on the west where I stood.
“On the west!” I shouted at the same time as Fergus hollered from the western tower.
We were surrounded.
Anger and fear tangled in my gut. They’d never before come at us like this. From the western forest, many times. But not like this. Not all sides at once.
“What are they planning?” I muttered to myself.
“Here,” Peter said, thwapping an extra quiver stuffed full of white fletched arrows beside me. He moved on to the next man a few paces away, laying a store of arrows at his feet as well.
We held our collective breath, waiting for the goblins to approach close enough to fight them. The waiting seemed interminable. My heart pounded; my breath came in tight pants.
“Arrows! On my mark!” Leif called from behind me, his voice slightly distorted through the waves of night. His station was on the Eastern side, likely he was directly opposite me. Like invisible cords were drawn between us, I homed in on his presence.
Magic tingled in my belly, reserves of it I didn’t normally feel. I frowned, absently wondering if my contact with Unicorn had somehow bolstered my own magic? I’d used enough magic in the past few days that I should be utterly drained. I shook my head. It was a ridiculous thing to focus on right now. Magic was there; I would use it if I needed to.
The enemy broke the tree line. Another fifty yards and they’d be well within range.
“Come kiss my arrows, scum,” the man ten paces to my left said, sighting down the shaft of his arrow.
A wild, horrifying blare rose from all sides, sending the hair on the back of my neck standing to attention as a creeping sensation skittered over my skin. The goblins shrieked, and as one body, they moved on the fortress.
“Now, East!” Leif hollered somewhere behind me.
I brought my bow up and drew my arrow back.
“Fire, West!” Fergus shouted from the western tower. I loosed the missile and watched with satisfaction as it sliced cleanly through the neck of a mottled goblin. It toppled over backward off his mount.
A unicorn screamed as another arrow sliced into its shoulder and pain exploded in my chest.
A screeching whinny echoed in my brain, farther away and more familiar than the noise surrounding me. My unicorn.
I didn’t have time to dwell. Just then, Fergus shouted again, “Fire at will! Take them down!” Bowstrings twanged on either side of me as I drew another arrow from my quiver.
“Stoke it higher. Bring more pitch and oil!” Da said somewhere to my right. A thick fog rolled along the ground, distorting noises, and making my senses swim.
Focus, I commanded myself.
I fired again, and again, aiming at the goblins while those around me shot at both goblins and unicorns. Bile rose in my throat as unicorns thrashed, screeching in pain, and my heart shattered. We were fighting the wrong thing. We needed to take down the goblins. I was certain that if the goblins were removed, the unicorns would go their own way, far from their slaving masters.
Before I could formulate my next thought, a wave of rocks and debris flung up from the ground and I ducked behind a crenelation. Projectiles rained down and cries sounded around the perimeter of the keep. Two men on my left went down. I hoped Celeste would stay inside the keep and let the injured be brought to her, rather than venturing out.
Commotion rattled the soldiers on the southern side of the fortress.
“It’s coming! Brace! Summon your magic! We must put up a wall of defense!”
Men screamed as another wave of projectiles pummeled us, forcing us to keep our heads down and keeping us from firing back. I poked my head out from behind my crenelation, craning my neck to see into the blackness. Fires dotted the woods, illuminated twisted creatures on their black mounts.
“It’s coming—they’re turning it!” someone hollered.
“Fire! Don’t let them nearer!” That was Leif. Panic laced his voice. What was happening? Another volley of arrows kept me ducked down, festering with terror, and burning with anger behind the stone crenelation.
“Fergus, on you! They’re coming for the hole!” Da shouted through the chaos and the mist that thickened, and blanketed everything, hiding the enemy, and ratcheting tensions high enough they were tangible. The hole—where they’d fired their new weapon the last time. Where the wall was weakest. New fear snaked through my veins. I was practically standing on top of the patched section of the wall.
“Ready arrows! They’ve got the weapon comin!” Fergus hollered. “Mind yer heads, they’re getting off another volley.”
Rocks battered the stones beside me. I shrank against the wall, making myself as small a target as possible. Both men to my left were still down, moaning in pain. The one to my right yelped, going down with a clatter of his bow against the ramparts.
Rage boiled through me as magic sizzled through my chest. On the far left, to the south, a blaze of magic simmered, as men tried to layer a second wave of defense and strengthen our fortress, but if the goblins were moving their new weapon to my side, I might be able to get a clear shot off. I risked a glance over the wall.
I could just make it out in the wavering misty torchlight. The goblins rode their unicorn mounts, a double row of them, carrying something like a massive log between them. Magic, black, red, and pungent, crackled along the surface of it. It flashed—like red lightning and sent my pulse tripping. This was the weapon. Without doubt, even not knowing how it worked, I knew down to my bones that if they had the chance to discharge all that warped magic, it would be the end of Castle Camran.
Quickly, I calculated my odds of being able to take down that many goblins. I needed help. I couldn’t dispatch them all in the amount of time I had before I assumed they’d be in range to fire their twisted magic. They marched closer to the western side—my side—of the castle. Glancing wildly about, the soldiers nearest me were down. Blood splattered the parapets in the torchlight. There was no one left standing but me on the western ramparts.
Anger banished my fear and made me reckless.
“I need archers!” I screamed as I dropped my empty quiver and snatched up the other.
“Lass!” Fergus cried somewhere in the distance.
Magic blazing in my chest, I called it to my fingers, imbuing the shaft of my arrow with white streams of light. I leaped from the rampart and stood between two crenelations on the top of the wall, my legs braced against the large stones on either side of me, my boots planted firmly as I took aim at the black heart of the goblin at the front of the column. He was close enough I could see his wicked grin and the crazed light in his unicorn’s eyes as it tossed its head.
I loosed my shaft, a white streak that buried itself straight into the goblin’s chest. It screamed, flailing, as my white magic burst inside it, opening a cavity and blasting black ichor. It sizzled against the magic of the weapon. The unicorn bucked, shaking off the rest of his dead rider, and bolted.
“Pick it up! Fire it! Fire the lightning cannon!” a goblin screamed.
Fletching rubbed my cheek as I stood tall and took another goblin in my sights.
Whoosh! My arrow, wrapped again in white magic, landed soundly in the chest of the goblin on the other side. He twisted on his unicorn, dropping his tether on the magical weapon. Toppling off, his unicorn reared, careening into the unicorn next in line, and bumping into the cannon. Lightning jumped from the log onto the unicorn, dropping it to its knees as it seized and convulsed in the throes of the evil magic. I bit my lip, sorry to have wounded a unicorn, but I hadn’t been aiming for it.
“Get down! What are you doing?” Strong arms snatched about my middle and hauled me off the top of the wall. “Are you trying to get yourself killed?” Leif hissed between his teeth.
“Shoot at the goblins, not the unicorns. We have to take enough of them down so they drop the weapon. There’s no way the walls will survive a blast from that thing!” I rushed, angry and annoyed at Leif’s jerking me off the wall and costing me valuable time.
Already, I stood, silently cursing my skirts as they tangled around my ankles and readied another arrow. I swirled magic from my finger into the shaft and let it fly. A small explosion blasted as my arrow met its target.
Leif growled and ran a few paces away to the moaning solider, grabbed his quiver, and jogged back to me. “At least have the decency to stand behind a crenelation,” he snapped, nocking his own arrow. “And don’t you dare burn out up here using too much magic. You’re,” he grunted mid-word as he let his shaft fly, “too unprotected if you pass out.”
“If we take down these villains,” I let my own arrow fly, “then it won’t matter,” I muttered. Leif grunted again and waved his arm, casting a shield of his own valuable magic around us as another round of goblin projectiles hammered down.
Goblins screamed and shrieked as they flipped, burst, and clawed at their unicorns as our arrows pierced them. Panic leeched from them, wafting its acrid stench to the battlements as they shoved and thrust each other out of the way, trying to light their cannon.
“Hurry, Mariss, they’re igniting it!” Leif said, urgency ripping through his tone. I didn’t know how he knew that, but I trusted he was correct. Red magic fizzed and popped, smoke and flashes of yellow that did, indeed, look like lightning, snaking along the length of the battering ram. The blistering magic coalesced at the end of the weapon.
“Shoot them!” Leif shouted. Some part of me registered that Fergus was shooting from the top tower, but everything fell away as I honed in on the remaining goblins.
I had three arrows left. A wave of doubt and uncertainty rippled through my middle. There were still too many of them left. We couldn’t finish them all off. The weapon would blast the western wall to ashes.
Chapter 17
Shoot the end.
My head snapped up at Unicorn’s voice in my head. Shoot the end?
“What end?”
Holding end.
“Mariss, what are you talking about?” Leif said, firing again.
I didn’t answer, scouring the remaining goblins and their charging weapon. Unicorns writhed beneath their riders, their horns glowing, magic seeping from them and into the weapon that glowed like angry fires straight from the mouth of the underworld.
There. At the far end closest to the forest, a goblin, larger than the rest, had his hands on the end of the weapon. Green encased him, and a red wash of magic lit his face like a demon.
I took an arrow, and the rest of the world fell away.
The demon goblin smiled wickedly, crooked pointed teeth illuminated in the haze from the weapon. A wild, triumphant cry juggled out of his throat as he shoved the weapon like he was aiming a trajectory.
Shoot now! Unicorn screamed inside my head.
I blinked as magic crackled and every inch of me felt inflamed. The weapon pulsed, lightning catching on its end and setting the world on fire. I loosed the arrow, the fletching whispering against the twang of my bowstring.
I didn’t see if my arrow made its mark. Leif crashed into me, his arms whipping around me and taking me down to the ground. His body covered me, crushing me beneath him on the cold stone of the parapet as the world vibrated and boomed around us. My ears ached and magic singed the air as screams, panic, terror, and confusion reigned my senses, filling my head with its loud cacophony. Dirt, rocks, and a spray of burnt magic rained down.
Ringing resounded painfully in my head as I more felt, rather than heard, the pitter patter of falling earth as it hit the parapet and smacked into my exposed shoulder, the rest of me hidden underneath Leif’s body. My hand clenched my bow, the back of my hand pressed against Leif’s chest, his heart pounding.
“Leif,” I struggled to say through the noise.
He grunted but didn’t move. At last, the spitting earth stopped, and he shifted.
“Are you hurt?” I gasped as he held me down with one arm and searched the surrounding area.
“Mari,” he started, but then Fergus cut him off.
“Ye did it! They dropped the weapon and ran. Aye, left a nice crater, but we’ve got em on the run now! Hand me that quiver!” Fergus grabbed an arrow from the few remaining ones and shot after the retreating goblins.
Leif rolled to the side, and I gasped a lungful of oxygen tainted with ash and Sulphur. Stiffly, I crawled to the edge of the battlements and hauled myself up enough to look between the crenelations. Fergus spoke true. The goblins fled, their unicorns keening wildly into the black night.
“Leif!” My sister’s voice cut through the night like a knife straight to my heart. Leif had protected me. At his own expense. Swinging my head around, I let my eyes devour him, searching for signs of injury. His face was ashen and covered in dirt. Celeste flung herself at him. He twisted as he caught her, catching my eye. His gaze raked over me. He nodded to me once as his arms came around Celeste. He squeezed his eyes shut and buried his face in her neck, sagging against her. My heart turned to stone inside my chest.
“Lass, was it you that fired that last shot? That’s the one that did the villains in!” Fergus crowed as he helped me the rest of the way to my feet.
A hollowness opened in my chest. Where victory should have crowed, all I felt was loss standing next to Leif and Celeste.
Chapter 18
I don’t know what time I fell into bed, but after the use of so much magic, my body was drained. I found Da, but then hauled myself to my chamber and collapsed, too weak even to stand. Strangely, even still, I felt the flickers of magic wake inside me. Could it be possible I still had reserves? That my body was just exhausted from the battle and too little food?
***
My belly grumbled, waking me the next morning as sunlight streamed through my window. Amara had left a tray of bread and cheese sometime after I crashed into sleep, and I was grateful. Shoving huge mouthfuls in, I chewed sloppily, unconcerned with manners in my own chambers with no one to observe me.
I needed to see Unicorn. As soon as possible.
My brain roved over last night’s events. He had known. Somehow, Unicorn had known there was a battle raging, and that I was in trouble.
He’d helped me again. Likely saved my life. And the lives of everyone else inside Castle Camran.
My chewing slowed as the full realization of that hit me full in the gut.
***
I escaped the aftermath of the attack, slipping into a hidden tunnel near the kitchen. Guilt pricked at me as I dashed away down the old dirt tunnels, but I reasoned that Unicorn may have answers about the goblins and their weapon after last night’s attack at the way he saved me. If I could ascertain answers to those questions, it would be worth missing and helping with the cleaning of last night’s battle.
Sunlight dappled the ground as I emerged from the tunnel into a different section of woods.
“Blast,” I muttered. Peter’s borrowed clothes were in the tunnel that led from the garden. I shivered lightly as a chill breeze blew down through the trees. Rubbing my arms, I resolved I’d just have to make due in my skirts today. I didn’t have the energy to traipse through the brush to retrieve them, so instead, I bent down and yanked my skirts up, knotting them to the side so at least they’d be out of the way, even if the light wind was cold on my bare legs.
Unicorn was prancing back and forth, agitated, and gnashing his teeth, whinnying shrilly when I got to the edge of the gorge.
“Unicorn,” I called down. Immediately he stopped, whipping his great head around to lay eyes on me. “I’m here.”
He stilled, trotting over to wait where I’d slide down the last of the scree to the valley floor.
Well?
“Yes,” I panted a little. “I’m well. I’m not injured. But how did you know?” I wasted no time in asking as I stroked his jaw. He rubbed his velvety nose against my shoulder. “I know you knew we were under attack. You told me where to shoot.” My voice lowered to a whisper. “You probably saved my life and the lives of all at Camran Castle.”
Unicorn dipped his head, backing up and walking slowly toward the river. I followed, one hand resting on his wide side.
Connected.
“You’re connected? To what?”
You.
“We’re connected?” I gaped slightly. It was obvious that we were—how else could he invade my thoughts with his words—but I’d never put it together in my mind that way before. “Are you connected to anyone else?”
He nodded and a funny curling sensation that wasn’t entirely pleasant scraped against my belly.
“Who else?”
Family.
“Oh. Your family?” I stopped, and Unicorn paused to glance back at me. He dipped his head again, golden horn shining. “Where is your family?”
Sadness emanated from him so tangibly my fingers clenched.
Gone.
I wasn’t sure how to respond to that. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. Clearing my throat, I continued, “Is there anywhere else you can go? Your…extended family?” I didn’t know what words to use.
He snorted through his nose. Trapped here.
I was an utter simpleton today. Of course, he was trapped. He didn’t have arms and legs to climb the steep rocky face of the gorge that rose on either side of the valley and the far side of the river. One end of the valley ended in a rush of dangerous waterfall, and the other end of the valley had been walled off by a landslide.
“Unicorn, I’m so sorry.” No wonder he looked forward to my visits so much. I was the only other creature who knew he was alive, and where he was. I patted his side. “I won’t leave you,” I promised.
He nudged me with his nose again.
Climb up.
“Are we going for a ride?”
He tossed his mane, impatient. I grinned despite the sadness I felt. Riding was exhilarating and a taste of freedom for me. I wondered what it was like for him.
“Do you like it, or is this for my benefit?”
Companion. Happy.
“It makes me happy, too,” I told him as he knelt. Forgoing any remote semblance of modesty, I hiked my skirts up to my thighs and did my best to grip his wide sides with my knees. He raised up from the ground, and we were off.
***
We cantered around the circumference of the valley before Unicorn stopped and pawed the ground.
Hold.
I gripped his mane just in time as he shot off at full speed from the waterfall end of the valley, racing across the grass like an arrow.
A whoop escaped my throat, wild with the sheer delight of freedom and bursting with the joy I felt as we swooped over the grass, the wind frigid, my skirts streaming behind, though I didn’t care. Unicorn whinnied, thundering over the turf.
At last, he slowed, bringing us back near the waterfall where the river changed course, falling dramatically over a series of tiny falls before the it thundered over the steep edge of the cliff, pounding the rocks and water far below.
I slipped off his back and sank down into the soft moss that lined the riverbank. Unicorn flopped beside me.
Troubled?
“Better after flying over the ground like that.” I rested my hand against his heaving side.
Tell me.
Gusting a sigh between my teeth, I bit my lip. “It’s still Leif. It’s always Leif.” I explained last night’s battle—the aftermath and how Leif and Celeste clung to each other. “I know it’s right and proper that they do, but my heart just feels so bruised.” I fiddled my fingers together, weaving a strand of white magic before realizing what I’d done.
Magic swirled inside my chest.
“Unicorn, when we rode together that first time, I felt this wash of magic…and since then, using my own hasn’t been so taxing. Was that something you did?”
He chuffed something that sounded like a snort and a chuckle.
No.
I frowned, looking at the wispy piece of magic in my hands. “Then why do I do things like this? I’ve never absently made a strand of magic before in my life. I should be feeling the strains of this. Of all of this. I’ve used more magic since I met you than…well, probably ever before in my life. Why am I not feeling the effects of this?”
Practice.
Practice. Could it be that magic wielding just needed extra practice? Was wielding magic like…developing a muscle? Could it really be that simple? I tucked that thought away to ruminate on later then changed tracks.
“Unicorn, can you tell me about the goblins?”
A pained whinny ripped through the stillness, causing my shoulders to tense even as I flinched.
“Do you know how they can be defeated?”
I cannot.
“But you know.”
He speared me with a look from his enormous, luminous eyes.
I know.
Chapter 19
I had to leave not long after that, and despite Unicorn’s refusal—maybe inability—to speak to me of the goblins, I was feeling more like myself by the time I made it to dinner. This time I was careful to rebraid my hair and get back in time to change into a fresh frock. Celeste was already seated. She was always early. Punctual. Because that is how a lady ought to behave.
My sister eyed me, a smile tugging at her lips. Mercifully, Da and Leif were not yet present. Celeste leaned over to me. “I see you’re all kempt tonight. Did you not meet your lover today, or did you take more pains to cover the evidence?” Her eyes lit at the possible scandal.
Skin crawling and cheeks flushing, I swallowed hard. “Truly, Celeste.” I was about to deny any such lover existed, but held my tongue, wondering if Celeste would even believe me if I told her there was no one. I certainly couldn’t explain that my ‘lover’ was one of our most dreaded enemies. That would not go over well. I cleared my throat. “I do not wish for Da to know. Not yet. Or Leif,” I rushed on. “He’d likely think less of me than he already does.”
Celeste smirked. “Your secret is safe with me. But do tell me soon who he is.” She winked as Da trudged up the steps to the dais. I hoped she kept her word. “Will you be coming to my chambers this evening to do our embroidery together?” she asked as Da sat.
I hid my own smirk. She would have the entire wedding planned and prepared before Leif’s father ever gave his final consent. We all knew it was coming, but word travelled slowly over the mountains. And it was dangerous going across the country with trolls, dragons, and goblins roaming the woods and plains in between.
“Of course,” I conceded.
Pen and Win brought platters of steaming pork and roasted vegetables. My belly rumbled just as Leif walked behind my chain. He was sure to have heard the unlady-like noise.
“Sorry I’m late,” Leif said, quickly taking his seat beside Celeste. He barely spared me a glance. I wondered if he was angry with me for my brashness on the wall last night.
My fingers twisted into my lap as sadness gathered in my belly.
Da cleared his throat as he portioned vegetables and meat onto my plate. I grabbed my fork, starving. “I want to make one thing clear, daughters,” Da said without preamble. My fork froze where it was, stabbed into a perfectly browned potato chunk. “I do not want either of you outside the walls of the castle. It is too dangerous and there are too many unknowns with the goblins and their magic running amok. We must find a solution to this threat, but in the meantime, I will not have my daughters put into harm’s way. Do I make myself clear?” Da speared me with a look and my belly plummeted to my toes.
I swallowed on an ash-dry mouth.
For the first time in my life, I knew I would willingly disobey my father.
***
Guilt sat heavily on me. I smothered under the weight of my disobedience. I wanted to tell Da. Tell him what I knew, but I also didn’t trust that he wouldn’t march himself to my gully and slay my unicorn. I couldn’t have that on my conscience either.
Each day, I snuck away from the castle, wrapping myself in magic—which I noted was easier and easier for me to wield without quickly tiring—and I’d steal away to the gorge. I asked Unicorn repeatedly to tell me about the goblins, but he never did. I got the feeling that he wanted to but couldn’t. It did not ease my frustration.
Still, the rest of the week passed. I did my morning chores, then made my escape as quickly as I could, determined to find a way to help Unicorn from his imprisonment, and further probe him about the goblins. I felt certain that if I could just cajole the truth from me, I could convince my father that the unicorns weren’t our mortal enemy, and that I knew how to defeat the goblins.
But without the knowledge of how to defeat the goblins, telling Da about my unicorn would certainly only bring the death of my friend and his bloodshed would rest on my head. I struggled with these heavy thoughts one early afternoon as I walked softly over the dying grass. A few swirls of colored leaves brushed across the scrub on the forest floor. I snugged my scarf closer around my chest. I was in my borrowed clothes today, and it made traveling through the scraggly weeds much easier.
Birds chirped overhead and I gusted a sigh through my teeth, wrestling again with my disobedience.
“You shouldn’t be outside the walls, Mariss.”
The words stopped me dead in my tracks as ice trickled through my blood. Slower than a creaking stone giant, I turned and looked up to the sound of the voice.
Leif sat perched in the branches of a tree not ten paces away from where I stood. One leg was stretched out along a branch as he braced himself against the tree trunk. The other dangled, giving him a carefree appearance as he tossed an apple core away and dropped lightly from the tree.
My eyes were riveted on him as he adjusted the bow slung across his back and took heavy, deliberate steps into my space, stopping inches away from me. His eyes slit, studying me. My heart pounded and my mouth dried.
I was in so much trouble.
“And you’re going to tell me exactly what you’re doing out here, or I will tell your father you’ve disobeyed his direct orders and let him punish you accordingly.” His voice was hard and unyielding, his tone letting me know he’d follow through. I swallowed, desperate for moisture.
“What are you doing here?” I rasped, the words rough like tree bark.
“I asked you first.” He crossed his arms across his chest, squinting at me like I was a disobedient soldier under his command. I was worse. I was a disobedient daughter. Why did I like him so much? He pointed with his chin in the direction I was heading—towards the gorge. “What’s back there? I know you’ve been sneaking out. I’ve watched you simply vanish and disappear three times now. Twice, I’ve followed you into the woods, only to lose you. Not today. Today, I learn the truth.”
My hammering heart fell to my toes. I couldn’t show him my unicorn. I couldn’t. Leif would go berserk. But what other choice did I have? If I didn’t take him to the gully, try to make him understand, he’d likely find it on his own, and kill my unicorn without a second glance. Or he’d tell my father I was sneaking out of the castle, and the consequences of that might be every bit as dire.
I searched his face, fear, anxiety, and a tiny spark of hope mixing in my middle. I swallowed again. He wasn’t immediately going to Da. He’d given me a chance to explain. I had to make him understand.
Plucking up my courage, I spoke. “If I take you, you must first swear something to me.” Leif would not go back on his word once he gave it; of this I was certain.
His brows drew together as he cocked his head to the side. “What are you about, Mariss?”
“Swear first,” I demanded. Leif’s eyebrows rose.
“What is it you would have me swear?” Some of the harshness left his tone.
“Swear that you will let me explain, and that you will listen to all of my explanation before you act.”
He was quiet a moment, searching my face, confusion and calculations whirling behind his icy blue eyes. “I swear it,” he said softly.
Tension drained from my shoulders even as unease slithered through my gut. Resigned, I turned to go back the way I’d come. “This way.”
We trudged in silence a moment or two before Leif snorted quietly.
“What?” I snapped irritably.
“What are you wearing?” His eyes followed the unflattering lines of Peter’s oversized clothes underneath the scarf knotted over my chest for added heat.
A blush threatened my cheeks, but I refused to be embarrassed at this right now. “You try climbing around in the scrub brush in a dress,” I muttered.
Leif’s cheek pinched in like he was holding in a laugh. I glared at him. A smirk tugged at the corner of his lip as his eyes lit with amusement at my expense. I punched him in the shoulder. He did not get to be amused on my behalf about this.
His smirk bloomed into a smile.
Irritating beetle.
I seethed as we traipsed back toward the gully. I knew I should warn him, but I was too angry and upset for words. I figured it was just as well to let him see the facts first. He’d sworn not to do anything until he let me explain.
“Quiet, you’ll scare him.”
“Him? Is this your secret lover Celeste has told me of? You’d risk your life for this?” Leif’s eyebrows shot to his hairline as distaste rearranged his features and wiped the smirk from them.
I wanted to stick my tongue out at him but knew this wasn’t the time. If only the thing hiding in the ravine was just a boy. Though I now knew not to trust Celeste with details of any sort of intimate nature in the future.
Huffing a sigh through my nose I crept to the edge of the ravine. Putting a finger to my lips, I parted a clump of tall grass and indicated that Leif should look down. With another hard look at me, Leif peered through the brush.
“Blast!” he nearly hollered, snatching the bow from around his chest and reaching for an arrow.
“Stop,” I commanded, stepping in front of him and pushing against his chest. He stumbled backwards, indicating just how shocked he was at the discovery of Unicorn.
Unicorn whickered, distress in his tone.
“It’s all right,” I called down. Unicorn stamped, unsure, uneasy, his black and white striped forelegs pawing as he galloped to the edge of the valley floor, trying to get nearer me. I turned back to Leif. “You swore to me you’d hear me out.”
Leif’s face was ashen, his eyes large and round. “That’s…that’s a unicorn,” he stammered, even so he reached an arm out in front of me like he meant to shield me from the creature. I’d never seen him so unsure in all the years I’d known him.
Gently, I put my hands on his arm and lowered it. “He won’t hurt you, Leif. We were wrong about the unicorns. They’re not the great evil everyone thinks they are.”
Leif shook his head. His mouth opened, but no words came. Pity moved inside my chest as Unicorn whinnied again. Carefully taking Leif’s hand, I tugged. “Come. Meet my unicorn and listen.”
“Mariss,” he whispered, shaking his head. For a moment, I was afraid he’d bolt through the forest, and everything would be for naught.
“Trust me,” I pleaded quietly. His eyes jerked from their entranced stare at the unicorn to my face.
Silently, he squeezed my hand and gave the barest nod of his head.
Hope swelled inside my chest.
Unicorn whinnied once as we made our way down the rocky side of the slope. I hopped to the ground and quickly walked over to the unicorn and stroked his nose. He nudged me softly.
“What are you doing?” Leif asked as he gingerly stepped onto the grassy flat of the gully.
“I’m petting him, what does it look like?”
“How…it…you’re not tainted by its evil?”
“Do I look it?” I stepped away from the unicorn, spread my arms wide and turned fully in a circle. “He’s never once tried to hurt me. In fact, it’s because of this unicorn that I’m alive. Twice over. And he’s likely saved your life as well.”
“What?” Leif’s already white face paled further.
“It’s true. Perhaps you should sit. You look as though a stiff wind could bowl you over.” I patted Unicorn’s jaw once more and perched on a boulder. Leif, never taking his eyes from the unicorn, came and sat near me. Tearing his eyes from the creature, Leif met my gaze.
“Explain, Mariss.”
“The night the goblins attacked—the night they tried to take down the outer wall the first time?”
Leif nodded, his fingers twitching over the smooth wood of his bow.
I continued. “I was so upset after my outburst at Lord Redstorm, that I fled the castle. I,” I felt my cheeks growing warm remembering the incident. “I just needed to be away. I ran to the river up on the hillside. I stayed out later than I should have, and as I was heading back, the horde attacked.” I explained how I came to be at the bottom of the gully. “I was just there.” I pointed. “Pinned, my leg crushed. I knew the bones were shattered. There was no hope of me climbing out of this gorge, even if I could have moved him,” I indicated the unicorn who stood watching us with his large eyes, “off me. The goblin was injured, too, but not so much that he wasn’t still trying to take the head from my shoulders. Unicorn got up, his back leg was injured, but he dragged himself from my legs, and mashed the goblin into the grass.” I shivered at the memory. Leif put a hand on my arm. Heat spread to my chest.
“Then the most miraculous thing happened. He healed me. I thought for certain he was going to skewer me through, but instead of driving his horn straight through my heart, he touched my chest with it. Softly. He healed my leg, as well as my other bruises and scrapes.” I stuck my foot out for good measure, turning my ankle in a circle, though Leif could hardly see it through the tall leather of my boots.
Leif sat, stunned, saying nothing. He blinked as he looked from me to the unicorn and back.
“How can you be certain this creature does not mean you harm?” he whispered roughly.
I shrugged. “At first, I guess I didn’t. I felt compelled to come back and look for him. He’s never acted in aggression toward me. And look.” I pointed at Unicorn’s large body. “When I found him, he was completely black. Black as a pookah. But since I’ve been with him, he’s started to change. His hooves are golden, and his legs are white. Bit by bit, the rest of him is changing, too. The black veining in his horn has gone as well. I don’t know what it means, but I think it is good.”
I glanced at Leif’s face. I could practically see the wheels turning behind his eyes as he calculated, summed up, made judgements.
“Can he teach us—about his species, about the goblins?” Leif finally said. He stared at my unicorn. Unicorn stamped the ground lightly, his tail swishing. My belly tightened.
“You’re not going to harm him?”
“I admit, I find it hard to believe that this creature is good after everything I’ve seen, everything I’ve been taught.” Leif swallowed hard and looked at me. Tingles rushed through my body as his icy blue gaze bored into mine. “But I trust you, Mariss. And we are desperate. If this creature is as you say, and if he is willing to help us learn, then I swear, no harm will befall him so far as I can prevent it.”
“I think he knows, but he hasn’t told me anything specific yet.”
“He speaks to you?” Leif wrenched his eyes from mine back to the unicorn.
“Well, inside my head. I’ve never heard him actually speak words from his lips.”
“Incredible,” Leif whispered.
“He is,” I said with a smile. I hopped up off my rock and crossed the few paces to Unicorn. I rubbed his nose. “Will you come meet my unicorn?”
Leif’s neck bobbed as he swallowed. Slowly he rose from the rock where he sat. I stroked unicorn’s forelock and waited for Leif to approach. He did so, but achingly slowly like an old man full of years and stiff joints.
“I hope you realize just how much trust I’m putting in you right now, Mariss. Not even being the son of King Trindon and heir to the kingdom would be enough to stop your father from murdering us both if he knew what you were doing and what I was allowing right now,” Leif said. He gently stretched out a hand toward Unicorn.
Unicorn stamped and nipped his teeth.
“Unicorn,” I chided. “He’s on our side. Be nice. He’s right. My father would descend on this place like the plague if he knew I was here with you. Besides,” I glanced back at Leif who had snatched his hand back and was glaring at the unicorn. My belly quivered, but I continued my words to Unicorn. “Leif Trindon is likely the only person alive who could convince my father that you’re not evil. His word carries more weight than mine—both with Da and the rest of the soldiers. We need him if everyone else is to accept that you and your kind aren’t as black-hearted as the goblins.”
Unicorn snorted and pawed the grass again. To his credit, Leif stood his ground, unmoving and unflinching, though every muscle in his body was tensed.
Almost like a sulking child, Unicorn took two paces forward and nudged Leif’s shoulder—rougher than he would me—with his nose. Unicorn snorted and swished his tail, turning and sauntering back toward the river.
“Sorry, he’s not usually so…moody,” I said, shrugging my shoulders, watching my unicorn all but put his nose in the air. I glanced back at Leif. He was rubbing his chest shoulder Unicorn had nudged him. His eyes were wide as he stared after Unicorn.
Come ride.
I turned back to Unicorn. “In a moment.” I twisted back around to face Leif, who still hadn’t moved. “Leif? Why don’t you sit down. You’re pale as second skimmings.”
He nodded woodenly, then staggered back to the boulder and plopped down.
“It’s a lot to take in,” he finally muttered.
I nodded, uncertainty still swimming in my gut. “But…but you won’t tell Da?” I had to make sure Leif would keep my secret. “Da can’t know about him until I’ve figured out what Unicorn knows about the goblins. Without that information coming directly from Unicorn, I don’t know how I’d keep Da from slaughtering him outright if he found out about him.” I sighed. “Then he’d lock me away and I’d never see sunlight again,” I said weakly, not entirely convinced that death wouldn’t be my fate if Da discovered my disobedient treachery.
“I will keep your secret, Mariss. For now. We need to tell your father about this.” He sighed and raked his hands through his sun-bleached hair. “But I agree it shouldn’t be right now.”
Relief flooded me. “Thank you, Leif. Oh, and please say nothing to Celeste either.”
Leif smirked. “If she couldn’t keep word of your secret lover to herself, think where she’d spread this information.”
I cringed. “Who else has she told?”
Leif shrugged as some color started returning to his cheeks. “This,” he motioned to Unicorn, “I trust, is the secret lover?”
I blushed to the roots of my hair. “Something like that.”
Leif shook his head. “You sure know how to turn the world on its head, Mariss.”
Wincing, I couldn’t disagree. “Why don’t you sit here and come to terms with things,” I suggested. I needed some space. Leif’s presence had me all flustered.
Leif nodded. I bit my lip as I turned to go to Unicorn. My gaze flitted to Leif once more. He watched me carefully.
My skin crawled, though not unpleasantly. “All right, my impatient friend, I’m here now.” I stroked Unicorn’s mane. He tossed his head and I heard Leif’s feet hit the dirt. My gaze met his across the valley floor. Even from where I stood, I could see the worry holding his body tense as he gripped his bow.
“It’s fine,” I called. It gave me a curiously warm sensation in my gut to see Leif’s concern for me. “Behave yourself,” I whispered to Unicorn. “Besides, we’ll likely give him an apoplexy once he sees me riding you astride like some harridan heathen.” I sighed. It’s not like my reputation could suffer further in Leif’s eyes. At least now he knew I didn’t have a secret lover stowed away somewhere. Not that it mattered.
But it did.
Unicorn lowered himself to the ground, and I hopped atop his wide shoulders, clenching my knees to keep my seat at the great beast stood.
“Mariss?” Leif asked, disbelief in his voice.
I gave him a cheeky, unapologetic smile and Unicorn shot off like a streak of lightning across the grassy floor of the valley.
Chapter 20
We walked back slowly toward the castle about an hour later. It was far earlier than I typically left the gully, but Unicorn hadn’t balked, seeming to understand my need to speak with Leif.
“I honestly don’t have words for what I saw you do today, Mariss.” There was a hint of awe in his voice that sent a tingle of pleasure down my spine.
I shrugged, unsure what words would be appropriate.
“May I come back with you tomorrow?”
My jaw dropped open. “You want to come back?”
Leif nodded, his eyes serious. “You’re right—it is an opportunity to study the enemy—or, who we thought was the enemy. I need to know more about the unicorns. If there’s anything we could learn that would help us, that’s a chance that needs to be taken.”
“Won’t you be missed at training?”
He pursed his lips, swiping a low-hanging branch of a sapling out of the way. He nodded his head that I should go first while he held the branch. It thwapped back into place behind him as he let it go. “I will explain to your father that I’ve had word from my father that there are some things that require my attention in the afternoons. I can be vague. My word carries enough weight that your father won’t question me.” He paused. “Did you mean what you said this afternoon—that your father would take my word above yours?”
Heat bloomed in my cheeks. I nodded. “It’s true. You are the son he never had—or, at least the son he will have once you and Celeste marry.”
He cleared his throat. “You shouldn’t undervalue yourself, Mariss. Your father loves you.”
“I know he does. And I love him. He’s my da. But you are a soldier and King Trindon’s son and heir. You are his equal in a way that I will never be.”
Leif frowned at my words, considering them.
“Still,” he persisted. He sighed, changing the subject. “Are you going to tell me how I watched you disappear from the garden yesterday? Or how you have been sneaking out of the castle undetected for…how long exactly?”
“Since the goblins first attacked us with their weapon.”
“Blast. My father should recruit you as his best spy.” He gave me a sidelong glance. I smiled innocently. Leif chuckled.
“There are secret tunnels that weave all under the castle. Only my family—and now you—know of their existence. They were created as a means of escape should the worst happen.”
“But how have you managed to use them so many times without detection?”
“I weave some magic around my face—either wavering myself into invisibility or changing my appearance enough no one recognizes me.”
“And that hasn’t drained you of all your magic?”
I shook my head. “I don’t fully understand that part. Unicorn says it’s just practice. I asked him once, wondering if maybe he had something to do with it. I think it might be like using a muscle. I’ve used it more and its grown stronger.”
“That’s an interesting theory.” He was quiet a moment as we neared the entrance to the tunnel that would take us back to the castle. “We’re taught from the time we can walk not to overexert our magic. We know it has lingering effects…but what if you’re right? What if it’s because we don’t use it enough?”
I stared at him, surprised at his quick acceptance of my theory, heart picking up as he searched my face.
“Thank you. For today, Mariss. I’m sorry if you feel I forced your hand in this.”
My eyebrows raced up my forehead. An apology from Leif Trindon was the last thing I’d expected today. “You’re welcome. I’m…I’m glad you know. It will be nice not to be completely alone in my scandal.” I gave him a rueful smile and he chuckled, running a hand over his hair in exasperation.
“Only you, Mariss. Now, how do we get back into the castle?”
“The entrance is just up ahead around those boulders.” I let a shimmering filament of magic spin over my fingers and wrapped it around my face, letting the illusion fall over me. “You disguise yourself while I change back into my dress. I’ll only be a minute.”
He nodded and turned his back, ever the gentleman.
“You can come over here now,” I called back once I’d changed and stashed Peter’s borrowed clothes.
“You should fix your hair unless you want Celeste mentioning your secret lover over dinner,” he quipped.
Heat rushed to my face as my hands flew to my braid. I hadn’t thought about my hair in all my tangle of thoughts about Leif and Unicorn. Leif smirked as I quickly undid my thick plait and smoothed the frizz that haloed my head after riding Unicorn. Twisting my fingers deftly through my dark tresses, they stuttered in their pattern as I realized Leif still watched me. A herd of gryphons flapped around in my gut as my face heated further. I fumbled with the leather strap I used to tie off the bottom and dropped it.
Face unreadable, Leif quickly bent and scooped it up. I willed my hand not to tremble as I took it from him. My fingers brushed against his, hard with callouses, and rough from training. My belly lurched painfully as something ghastly close to desire flooded me.
Without meeting his gaze, I quickly tied off my fresh braid and turned to enter the hidden tunnel.
Excited to read the new guide!